GM's off-list quotes

The GM:s have gathered this collection of quotes from off-list communication in the House of Cards PbEM game. The quotes are sorted in different categories:

Reid and Brita, Robin, General quotes.

Reid and Brita

Those are quotes from Reid and Brita's journey through the shadows toward Amber.

Chuck is not sure how the GMs will take his current suggestion
Chuck: Reid prepares to get the crap kicked out of him by tired GMs. Could be a short game...


Monica prefers a more sophisticated mode of travel
Camp?  CAMP?  As in no electricity? No bathrooms????


Reid and Brita go exploring
Chuck: "You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike."
"You are in a little maze of twisty passages, all different."


Great-great-grandmother fails to put in a hoped-for appearance
Chuck: I didn't know red herrings left hoof prints...


Spiral staircases are passe
Chuck: Reid searches through his probabilities, trying to make sure he didn't enter an Amber with an elevator to the basement instead of a staircase...


Listening for some important dungeon cues
Monica: If it is squeaking, Brita wants to know if it sounds like cute squeaking or "Giant rat of the flaming forest" squeaking.


We did not actually suggest this to Chuck and Monica
Michael: "Hi! My name is Reid Majors, and this is my fiancee, Brita Weiss.  I wonder if you could help us.  You see, our trumps broke down a few miles up the road...do you have a pattern we might use?"

Later comment by Chuck: To which the audience replies, "Castles don't have patterns, asshole!"

Robin

Note: Jim, the player of Robin, is gamemaster in Amberway II, in which our gamemasters are players.

Robin divides people she meets on the Black Road into two classes
Jim: The People Who Made This Thing are her enemies. Other Family Members are not necessarily her friends.


This from the guy who taught us that shadows of Amber were good for fucking with people's heads
GM: Maybe she's a shadow of you; you're pretty close to Amber.
Jim: Hey, none of that freaky shit.


Then you didn't know your weapon couldn't touch him
GM (quoting Gamers We Know): "Get 'em?" That was your whole plan? "Get 'em?"
Jim: It was a better plan a couple of messages ago.


Jim continues to think we'll play nicer with him than he does with us
Michael: We're going to have a long period of adjustment and education if you expect the black road to be fundamentally fair to Amber's children...


The NPCs are not impressed with Robin
GM: She seems to be muttering, probably speaking to the horse, although you think at one point the words "shadow" and "Gerard's daughter" are clearer.


Here's why
Jim: Flee a knife, charge a gun.


The bad guys are smarter
GM: The barking, the little victory dance, and the fact that a serious enemy seems to have cloned herself encourages the rest of the troops to go for help rather than attempting to impede your progress.


I blame Roger Zelazny -- a fine Amberway tradition
NPC: Just cause as much trouble as you can while I try to take out Brandom.  He's the one who's behind all this.


As long as we know who's in charge in this family
Jim: He's supposed to know, Robin thinks petulantly, when I am trying desperately to cheer him up. He is further supposed to be dutifully cheered.


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro
GM: Welcome to Freaky Shit Central.


The GMs aren't sure about that
Jim: Robin has this notion that she should be going somewhere to attack someone. It's _not_ PMS - it's _strategy_. She's just not sure _which_ strategy.

 

General Offlist quotes

We will, we will, kill you
John: Something in me loves the image of the Forces of Amber marching into battle to the tune of a Queen song.


Little does he know
Random: I swear if I ever get out of here, I'm retiring from the princing business. I'll leave it to you heroic types who enjoy charging up and down the universe saving it.  Damn thing is never grateful for being saved, either...


We feel just the same way when we play!
GM: The cards, which have been favoring the players immensely (to the great amusement of the GMs ("OK, time to write another 'and you defeat them easily' post...")), deserted you in your minute of need.  Such is war.
John: Let the record state that the cards are fickle bitches.


Stoking the fires of revolution
Karen:  Maybe I just should've specified, "Folly seeks out the social equivalent of disgruntled graduate students."


You knew the GMs didn't care much for her, but this is a real insult
GM: [Vialle] is sort of the Martha Stewart of Amber, without the visual aspect.


Family feeling in action
Jerod (about his response to Ossian's portrait): It never even occurred to me to consider beating the sh*t out of him.


The speech at the cenotaph wasn't the impressive part of Corwin's presentation
Martin: Corwin is a pompous ass.
Jerod: Yeah...a pompous ass with guns.


Least favorite cousin
Cambina (about Martin): He's a wolf in creep's clothing, brother.


Big sister looks out for baby brother
Cambina (to Jerod): It always amazes me that you survived in Rebma.  You seem to have no instinct for detecting sharks.


When open relationships go bad ...
Martin: Do you have to fill out forms in triplicate before you fuck someone else, too, or am I the only lucky one?


When open relationships go bad II
Paige: I think you're doing the right thing keeping it a strictly pay-for-play proposition.


When open relationships go bad III
James (after Vere puts up with a cranky Martin): and people wonder why Vere prefers books ...


GM attempts to involve all the characters start to get out of hand
Olof: Do I get this right? The messenger wants Vere to give the message to Martin? Sounds a darn lot like Hamlet to me. I will not open the message without Vere's consent. hah. I'm not a true Amber player yet, that's obvious


Harmless, harmless, harmless
James: Vere tries not to appear Machiavellian if anyone's looking.


The general assessment of the FitzEric, nicely summarized
Kris: ... for all his controlling ways, Jerod means well ...


The general assessment of Lucas, nicely summarized
Jerod:  Lucas will do it if he can figure a way to make it tastefully vulgar.


Sounds like a fellow GM to me
Blake: a PC get any benefit from the omnipotent GMs?....*chuckle*...I'm shocked to even consider such an idea...


Summary of the first part of Folly's opening thread
Karen (as Folly): Hi!  <flirt, flirt> Ooooh, do you play guitar? <flirt, flirt> Oh, by the way, I used to sleep with your dad!


Next campaign, maybe
Madeline: I suppose if we get fed one by one to the ravenous Pattern Oberon has left us, that would still be interesting to play, though.  ;)
Michael: no, but that sounds cool.  The Brativorous Pattern--Don't go into the basement alone!


Summarizing planned activities for the GMs
Jeremy: Same shit, different year.


Even the cuddly elders can be pushed too far
GM: "None of your beeswax" is not an acceptable answer to the Regent.


Some players prefer the complicated answers
Jeremy: You and your mundane solutions.


Too many NPCs
Ginger: My ability to name people is going to run out really quickly at this rate!


Don't bother asking who said it, either
PC who would like to remain nameless: Of course, what *I've* been thinking during this whole discussion is that we really *do* need to tie-dye Jerod's underwear....


Llewella has a new friend
Madeline: For the lord saith, ye who have funny hair colors shall not be as strangers unto each other.

 

This page was updated 27 apr 2002.